I’m Upset That My Non-Boyfriend Isn’t Acting Like My Boyfriend



I have been relationship this person for about three months. He has worked out of the place for 2 of those people a few months and just received again residence this week.

Though he was absent he called me or texted me day to day, was really attentive and built the energy to keep in get in touch with given that he was on the other aspect of the planet.

I picked him up from the airport, brought him home, he gave me a compact gift and we experienced a wonderful night time just looking at Television and chatting. I go to work and get a textual content that says he’s using off with a buddy for a week, Past minute vacation sort detail but he’s leaving that day.

I informed him I’m satisfied that he’s receiving to devote time with his close friend but I also experience form of jilted that I waited so patiently for him to occur residence.

His response was considerably less than stellar. He very a lot mentioned that I just cannot count on him to keep property all working day and wait around for me to arrive dwelling from operate to hang out with me. That he missed the entire summer months doing the job away and desires to devote time with his pals and do fun factors result in his perform normally takes absent from that.

I kinda just said, whoa, which is not what I intended, that I would in no way acquire him absent from friends or residing his lifetime. To have a fantastic excursion and I’ll discuss to him later.

I just cannot assist how I feel, for the reason that I do feel jilted. I also truly feel like he just assumed I was striving to cage him, when in fact all I desired was to be involved in his lifestyle.

I’m not positive if I should really just go away him to his units whilst he’s long gone and speak to him when he will get again. Perhaps I activated something in him. Or just wander absent now and save myself the issues of dealing with a person who doesn’t make the exertion to comprehend wherever I’m coming from?


I’m sorry you’re sensation this way, Annette. And I’m sorry I previously answered your issue in the title of this site put up. I know it seems a lot more challenging to you than it could possibly to me.

However, you rather substantially painted a apparent, objective photo of the scenario.

  • You are sleeping with a guy who hasn’t committed to you.
  • You’ve only been seeing every other for a person month out of three.
  • In spite of the simple fact that he was attentive even though you were absent (which gave you hope), now that he’s dwelling, he’s not treating you like a priority (which tends to make you sad).
  • You search for validation about feeling “jilted” and want to know what to do now.

Right here goes:

You are definitely entitled to come to feel unhappy and damage that your prolonged-distance link hasn’t been as rigorous considering that this man’s return.

You can even contact it “jilted” if you like.

What you simply cannot reasonably do – from my viewpoint, anyway – is suggest that he has done everything wrong beyond remaining insensitive in his texts.

But he’s not your boyfriend. Never has been.

If he were being your dedicated boyfriend, it’d be one particular thing.

There’s a code of conduct on how boyfriends are meant to behave and this guy surely didn’t live up to it.

But he’s not your boyfriend. Never ever has been. He’s the dude you dated for a month just before he went absent for two months.

As this sort of, you have no leverage over him, nor much suitable to give him guilt about his picked training course of motion.

He’s undertaking what’s proper for him.

You do what’s appropriate for you.

By the time you study this, Annette, your scenario will presently have been fixed. My guess is that you won’t have to talk to him about your textual content exchange. Nor will you have to wander absent.

My guess is that he’s already proven you the type of romantic relationship he’d like to have – a casual a person, fully on his phrases. All that continues to be to be witnessed is irrespective of whether you carry on to accept it or whether or not you dump his ass to locate a man who values you much more.


I’m Upset That My Non-Boyfriend Isn’t Performing Like My Boyfriend