How to Give an Erotic Massage: Massage Oils
Why massage oil?
A lot of people think grabbing some hand cream or body lotion would do just fine for a massage, or worse (shudder) doing a “dry” massage. If you want this erotic massage to actually reach the erotic point, you need real massage oil; something that will absorb a bit into the skin, soften it, but also allow you to keep smooth, steady movements with your massage.
You also want your massage oil to be something that you use only for erotic massage. You want to get to the point where you can take a whiff of the oil and have your body ready to rumble. You want to walk into the room the next day, catch the merest leftover scent of the massage oil, and smile at the memory of what you did in that room the night before. You want to put one small drop of that massage oil behind your ear, so that when you and your partner are out on the town, at a party or a business meeting, maybe in a restaurant, he’ll catch the scent as it wafts past him, and drive him insane until he can get you alone. Lubriderm cream is not going to do that for you!
But let’s back up a bit here, take a step back and look at the bigger picture.
A Brief History
Oils and aromatherapy have been around for a long time. Just look in the Bible. Remember when Mary Magdalene anointed Jesus’ feet? Not only was she applying essential oils, but was doing so through massage. Mary knew the power of massage. It’s a way to relax, relieve stress, show interest, and “rev the motor”, so to speak.
Oils have been around a lot longer than Biblical times, though. About 2700 years before the birth of Christ, the Chinese were using herbs and burning oils.
The Egyptians used oils in the mummification process, then eventually applied the same herbs and oils to everyday life. In fact, Cleopatra used the exotic and erotic Jasmine oil to distract Marc Antony during business meetings (Ladies, take note!).
In India, practitioners of ayurveda, a form of medical therapy, employed the use of aromatherapy and massage. Greeks used oils for aromatherapy, cosmetics, and medicine. Romans utilized the oils after baths, and the Aztec had a vast array of herbs and plants. In 980 AD, in the Far East, the art of distilling alcohol led to the development of more modern-day perfumes.
I believe it wouldn’t be too far-reaching to say that nearly every culture at one time or another took advantage of nature’s resources and used oils and massage.
How Do They Work?
Essential oils work in at several ways. First, and probably most obvious, is scent. The nose is an incredible organ. Ever notice how a fleeting aroma wafting across the street can take you back in time 20 years, to when you first encountered that smell? You can recall that instant in time in vivid detail; much more detail, in fact, than a photograph could bring back. Have you ever encountered a scent that reminded you of a particular person? Have you ever found yourself attracted to someone and not known why, only to find out later it was the scent he or she was wearing that aroused your interest? There are good reasons for that. The nose is directly hardwired to the brain.
When a scent is inhaled, the particles of the aroma are picked up by nerve endings at the back of the nose. The signal is then passed up to the brain, specifically to the limbic system.
The limbic system is home of the hypothalamus, which in turn houses the pituitary gland. The pituitary gland, among other things, is responsible for hormone release. See where I’m going with this?
Nose – to – limbic system – to – hypothalamus – to – pituitary gland – to – hormone release
There are different neurochemicals that are triggered by smell and cause mood changes. The first one is familiar to just about everyone- endorphine. Endorphin is the body’s natural high. Endorphines are most commonly associated with pain control. Everyone has heard of the person who is shot and doesn’t know it, or the person who has broken a limb and feels no pain. Thank the great hormone endorphine for that! Endorphines are actually stronger than morphine, which is probably why the word breaks down as “endo”, which means “within”, and “phin”, which means “morphine”; literally the word means “the morphine within.”
But pain control isn’t the only job of endorphines. Elevated levels of this hormone is seen after exercise and sex, as well. It’s associated with feelings of invicibility, satisfaction, calmness, and attunement with the body.
The other neurochemical triggered by smell is serotonin. Serotonin is a calming hormone. It is associated with sleep, mood, locomotion, feeding, and anxiety.
Is it any wonder that aromatherapy is a great way to relax, calm, and entice?
So, now the nose has picked up on the scents of the oil and has triggered a mad rush of hormones through the body. That, you may say, is a temporary state. One could get used to the scent of the oil and it will have less impact, or over the course of an evening the effects of the hormones will dissipate. But there’s more. The oils are also absorbed in the fat cells, and when essential oils are used in massage, whether erotic or not, the medicinal components of the herbs are also availed. Combine that with the effects of the massage itself -stimulation of circulation and heat production, not to mention relaxation of tense muscles – and you have an excellent vehicle through which to completely spoil your partner with luxury.
Introduction to Essential Oils
I personally believe that massage using essential oils is one of the most erotic feelings in life. As I said before, the massage itself, along with the scents, is magical enough, but what I think really makes massage with essential oils so special is the care that is being shown by the masseuse.
When you partner takes the time to select, mix, and then apply oils to your body, he or she is telling you that you are worth the time. Your partner is telling you that you’re worth spoiling, worth pampering, and that he or she thinks you’re beautiful.
Psychologically, essential oils and massage do as much for the soul as the actually physical benefits, which are no small things.
The main focus of this composition is information on essential oils used for massage. Keep in mind that all these oils are used for other medicinal reasons and in other ways than massage. For our purposes, though, I will try to keep the information on massage oils, erotic and otherwise.
At the end of this report you’ll find a small guide to different oils, their basic scents, and their attributes in regards to massage, as well as good base oils to use in your mixture.
A Word of Caution
My favorite base oil is almond oil, but there are a surprisingly large number of people allergic to nuts. DO NOT USE ALMOND OIL WITH ANYONE WHO HAS A NUT ALLERGY! You want to send your partner into throes of passion, not the emergency room with anaphylactic shock.
When choosing the essential oils for your massage oil:
• Pick just a few; you don’t want a mishmash of aromas.
• Make sure the essential oils, as well as the base oil, are not only edible, but tastes good and are not harmful to mucous membrane.
• Be aware of the properties of the essential oils you use. Some may heat up, which can be a lot of fun, but might be a little intense for some people. Some are astringent, some can raise blood pressure, and some just taste horrible.
• This may sound like a “duh” statement, but find out what your partner likes. If your partner absolutely hates mints, then massage oil made with peppermint is not going to put him in the mood for love.
There are a few things to keep in mind when blending oils. First and foremost is many essential oils have medicinal properties and should be used with caution, especially during pregnancy.
After the list of oils and their attributes at the end of this narrative, there will be a list of oils to avoid during pregnancy, some of which may not be listed in the list of oil attributes.
The second thing to keep in mind is that oils should never be applied directly to the skin, unless you have been instructed to do so by an experienced aromatherapist. Base oil must always be used. You want to use about 5 to 6 drops of essential oil for every 10 mL of base oil you use. That comes out to about 15 or so drops of essential oil per liter of base oil.
Oils should be stored in a dark glass bottle – never plastic. You will usually find oils stored in amber-colored bottles or blue ones. Avoid rubber stoppers for your oil bottles. The oils can eat through the rubber.
And speaking of oils eating through rubber, latex condoms will degrade in the presence of oil. Again, your Jimmy hat will not be of any use if you use oils as a sexual lubricant, which is bound to happen during an erotic massage. There are condoms made from plastics that can withstand the presence of oil, so read labels before you buy! Okay, I’m going to reiterate, since I don’t want anyone blaming me if Junior is born 9 months from now: DO NOT USE LATEX CONDOMS WITH OIL LUBRICANTS, AS THE OIL CAN CAUSE THE CONDOM TO BREAK!
Store the oils in a cool dry place. If stored correctly, the oils should last a year or so.
After mixing your oils, let your mixture sit for a day or so, or at least a few hours, and then go back and smell it again. You might find that the finished product smells a little different from when you first put it up. You can adjust your mixture accordingly. Play around with the oils, find a mixture that smells good to you and experiment with it. If you added 3 drops of sandalwood and 1 drop of chamomile one time, the next time you might want to try 2 drops of each, instead.
By the way, the combination of sandalwood and chamomile is an excellent relaxing oil mixture.
In general, men tend to enjoy spicy, woody smells, while women are known for favoring floral scents. A blend of both, then, would be an ideal massage oil that would please both partners in a heterosexual relationship. This, however, is a general statement. I’m a woman, and I prefer the spicy aromas over the floral ones, and I know some men who love the scent of some flowers. Regardless, for him/her relationships try a mixture of jasmine and sandalwood (both very erotic oils), or rose and frankincense.
Men like scents such as cinnamon, ginger, clove, nutmeg, and coriander. Women seem to lean towards aromas such as rose, jasmine, nerolis, and ylang-ylang. But, like I said before, this is a generality and the real fun comes from finding what you and your partner enjoy.
My all-time favorite massage oil is a combination of lavender oil, clove oil, cinnamon, peppermint, and rosemary oil, in a base of sweet almond oil. This blend not only smells awesome, but also produces just a touch of heat that can really drive you wild. It also tastes great!
You might want to try these other combinations:
– For relaxation try clary sage, lavender, and lemon. Chamomile is excellent for sleep, so try a mixture of chamomile and sandalwood, or chamomile and lavender to help you relax.
– Ginger and, believe it or not, black pepper, are great for sore, achy muscles.
– For an uplifting massage, try a blend of lemon, mint, and geranium. How about bergamot, peppermint, and lemon? Lavender, orange, and peppermint is a very cooling combination, as well, and gives a nice floral scent.
– For romance there are several mixtures you can try. Bergamot, sandalwood, and jasmine for one. The Kama Sutra recommends jasmine and grapefruit. Ylang-ylang, lavender, grapefruit, lemon, and neroli are also great together. If you’re really ambitious, go for a combination of rosewood, neroli, lavender, thyme, and cinnamon or clove.
– Trouble sleeping? Try lemon, marjoram, and vetiver.
Please keep in mind that all these oils have many attributes, and this is by no means a complete list of essential oils. I’ve picked these oils for their relaxing, sensual, or refreshing qualities. An asterisk after an entry means that that particular essential oil is not recommended for use during pregnancy.
In general, it is a good idea to always consult with an herbalist, doctor, midwife, aromatherapist, or other healthcare practitioner before using any essential oil medicinally. There will be a more complete list of oils to avoid after this entry.
Essential oils that are underlined are particularly known for their sensual attributes. If you notice, most of the “aphrodisiac” essential oils have euphoric and calming effects. This makes sense, as a calm and content state of mind is essential for a good sensual encounter. Combine these erotic oils with those promoting muscle relaxation, and you have a massage partner that is calm, relaxed, and ready for more action.
– Bergamot – Citrus bergamia – This oil has the aroma of bergamot orange that is slightly floral. A very refreshing scent. It is also known as Oswego tea and bee balm. This oil is good for depression, tension, and stress.
– Bos-de-Rose – Aniba rosaeodora – A sweet, floral, woody scent that relieves stress, headache, and depression.
– Cedarwood* – Cedrus atlantica – You will find this a scent that is dry, woody, and sweet. It soothes and calms. Great for arthritis and stress.
– Chamomile* – Matricana chamomila – This oil has a fruity, herbal essence with a myriad of uses. Not only is it great for your hair, it is also wonderful for insomnia, anxiety, neuralgia, burns, pain of rheumatism, gout, sores, sprains, inflamed skin, strains, stress, and nerves, and gives a sense of peace and calm.
– Cinnamon* – Cinnamonum zelanicum – I’m sure everyone has smelled the comforting aroma of cinnamon in apple pie, but I bet you didn’t know it is a wonderful essential oil for exhaustion, stress, and rheumatism. Cinnamon may be a mucus membrane irritant, as are the other spices, so keep that in mind when making oils intended for erotic massage. You might want to use just a small amount in you blend.
– Citronella* – Cymbopogon nardus – This oil has a lovely citrus odor. I’m sure everyone is familiar with its insect-repellent attributes, but it’s also a great tonic for headache and fatigue.
– Clary Sage* – Salvia sclarea – This oil with a nutty fragrance helps fortify a debilitated nervous system. It is also a euphoric and has sensual properties. Some sources site clary sage as being a uterine stimulant, so this must be kept in mind in the case of pregnancy.
– Clove* – Eugenia caryophyllata – Clove is a wonderful analgesic; just ask anyone who’s used it for a toothache. It also has antiseptic properties and is excellent for arthritis pains, as well as sprains and strains. This oil may cause mucus membranes irritation, so again, be wary. In my own personal use of this essential oil, I’ve not found it to be irritating to mucus membranes, but everyone is different and perceives sensations differently.
– Cypress – Cupressus sempervirens – A woody aroma that helps with mental and emotional resolve, as well as rheumatism and varicose veins.
– Frankincense – Buswellia thurifera – This gift from the magi has a heady, spicy aroma. It encourages feelings of peace and wellbeing, calms, deepens breathing, and eases nerves and tension. I liked to use this oil or the resin itself when my children are fearful of boogey men and monsters. When I burn frankincense, I can feel it in my spine. The aroma evokes feelings of safety, and may even chase away evil spirits!
– Geranium* – Pelargonium graveolens – An essential oil with a floral scent. It’s good for depression and nerves; helps to relax. It also benefits the nervous system and women who suffer from PMS.
– Ginger – Zingiber officinale – Ginger has a spicy aroma that for me calms and soothes. My midwife uses ginger in boiling water during births to soothe the laboring mother. She also uses the ginger water to relax the skin. Ginger improves circulation; it’s great for cold hands and feet, so try it in a tub or footbath. It helps with muscle aches and pains, as well as arthritis.
– Grapefruit – Citrus paradisi – This oil, with an obvious citrus aroma, is used for depression and migraine, and as a tonic aid in drug withdrawal. It is a good choice if you’re looking for a refreshing scent.
– Hops – Humulus lupus – Hops is the ingredient in beer that acts as a sedative. Marijuana, which also causes sedation, is a relative of hops. Hops is an analgesic and helps neuralgia, nervous tension, bruising, and insomnia. It’s also a skin softener.
– Jasmine – Jasminum officinale – This oil has an erotic floral scent. This night-blooming flower eases anxiety and lethargy, while relaxing and calming.
– Juniper* – Juniperus communis – With an earthy, woody scent, juniper clears the emotions and relaxes. It’s also good for cellulitis and rheumatism.
– Lavender – Lavendula augustiform – This oil has a warm floral aroma. It is a relaxant, easing nervous tension, headaches, neuralgia, and muscle aches and pains from rheumatism, and gives a sense of tranquility. It also works wonders on burns, though I do not recommend using the undiluted oil on damaged skin, and before using any oil medicinally, it’s a good idea to check with an aromatherapist, herbalist, midwife, or naturopath.
– Lemon – Citrus limonum – A lemony aroma, of course, that refreshes and cools. It’s great for nerves, varicose veins, and high blood pressure. Anyone who has had a tall glass of ice water with a twist of lemon on a hot summer’s day or while feverish can attest to the cooling, soothing qualities of lemon.
– Lemongrass – Cymbopogon citratus – Citrus. Wonderful for muscle aches, headaches, and stress.
– Lime – Citrus aurantifolia – Another oil with a sweet citrus odor. Great for high blood pressure, rheumatism, depression, anxiety, insomnia, and varicose veins. It revitalizes, too.
– Mandarin – Citrus noblis – An oil with a fruity citrus essence that relieves stress and nervousness, as well as eases insomnia with its tranquilizing effects.
– Marjoram* – Origanum marjorana – This essential oil has a spicy, woody aroma that is helpful with bruises, PMS, anxiety, insomnia, muscle aches, circulation, neuralgia, rheumatism, sprains, and strains.
– Melissa – Melissa officinalis – Also known as lemon balm, it calms nerves and lifts spirits. Its sedative affect helps with depression and insomnia. It’s also good for eczema.
– Myrrh* – Commiphora myrrha – This aroma is woody and earthy, and has wonderful calming affects. It is also used as gargles and mouth rinses for those suffering from gingival problems, but this should be done only under the direction of any herbalist, and the oil never applied directly to the mucus membranes.
– Neroli – Citrus bigaradia – This oil has the essence of blossom of bitter orange. It eases depression, anxiety, and hysteria, as well as nervous tension. It promotes peace and encourages sleep, but is also known for its seductive qualities.
– Nutmeg* – Myristica fragrans – This woody, spicy oil works wonders for arthritis, aching muscles, neuralgia, rheumatism, and poor circulation.
– Orange – Citrus aurantium – Bitter orange, with its citrus aroma, is good for depression, anxiety, stress, dull skin, and muscle spasms.
– Palmarosa – Cymbopogon martini – This refreshing, floral aroma helps with exhaustion, skin infections, and dull skin.
– Patchouli – Pogostemon patchouli – With its musky odor, it lends itself as a sensual essential oil. It is also useful for skin inflammation, fatigue, mature skin, stress, and hair care.
– Peppermint – Mentha piperata – A cooling, refreshing minty aroma is the characteristic of this oil. It is also known for its benefits for inflammation, and migraine, and where it is applied it has an anesthetic affect that increases blood flow. Like the other mints, though, it may cause mucus membrane irritation.
– Rose – Rosa gallica officinalis – A light floral aroma helps to ease tension, depression, and anxiety. It is a “love oil” that is also an excellent tonic for the reproductive organs. Rose also aids in the treatment of eczema and mature skin.
– Rosemary* – Rosmarinus officinalis – This oil has an herbal, woody aroma. It, too, is a “love oil”, but also helps with headaches, fatigue, muscle aches, sprains, nerves, and rheumatism. This is one of the best oils for your hair.
– Rosewood – Aniba Rosaeodora – This floral scent promotes comfort and eases depression. It relaxes sore muscles. It is also known as lemongrass.
– Sandalwood – Santalum album – This wood-scented oil is known as a sexual stimulant. It helps the user to focus on the here and now, enjoying the moment rather than worrying about what could have been; enabling the user to fully enjoy his or her present situation and partner. It is also a sedative that helps with depression and PMS.
– Thyme* – Thymus vulgaris (as well as T. serpyllum and T. pulegioides) – This plant possesses a fresh, herbal aroma. It strengthens nerves, eases exhaustion and rheumatic pains, and soothes muscle aches and arthritis. – Ylang-ylang – Canagna odorata – This oil has an exotic, floral odor that eases stress, anxiety, and high blood pressure. It’s a general tonic that is also well known for its sensual properties.
– Sweet Almond – This oil can be used 100%. This is my favorite oil to use as a base. It’s light in texture and color, and has the added benefit of helping with itching, dryness, soreness, and inflammation.
– Apricot Kernel – This oil, too, can be used undiluted. It’s good for sensitive skin and dry skin.
– Avocado – This oil should be used at only 10% (90% should be another oil, such as sweet almond). This base oil is rather heavy and leaves a waxy feel on the skin.
– Avocado Pear – Again, though this oil is good for dry skin, it should be used at 10% and mixed with another base oil.
– Borage Seed – Another 10% oil that should be mixed. It’s good for premature aging, stimulation and regeneration of skin, multiple sclerosis, menopause, heart disease, and eczema.
– Cocoa Butter – This needs to be warmed, as it is solid at room temperature, but it is excellent for dry skin.
– Corn Oil – This oil can be used 100% and is good for all skin types. It’s rather heavy, but also soothing.
– Hazelnut – This oil can be used undiluted and on all skin types. It is also an astringent.
– Jojoba – This base should be diluted to 10%. It’s a wonderful help in psoriasis, acne, and inflamed skin, but can be used on all skin types. It’s also good for the hair.
– Peanut Oil – Edgar Casey sang the wonders of this oil. He recommended it for all types of ailments. Peanut oil can be used undiluted and on all skin types, but be aware that it has a very strong aroma of peanuts and can feel quite heavy on the skin.
– Safflower – This can be used undiluted and for all skin types.
– Sesame Oil – This should be diluted to 10%, but is wonderful on all skin types. It is especially useful for psoriasis, eczema, and arthritis. It also has a strong aroma, though, so smell it before trying it. – Soya Bean – Another oil that can be used undiluted and on all skin types. – Sunflower oil – Again, another oil that can be used undiluted and on all skin types.
– Wheat germ – While good for psoriasis, prematurely aging skin, and eczema, as well as all skin types, it should be used at 10%.
Remember, use only 5 to 6 drops of essential oil per 10 mL of base oil. This is the total amount. You can combine oils, of course, but in total your essential oils should not exceed the 5 to 6 drops mentioned above.
Pregnancy and Essential Oils
Some essential oils may be uterine stimulants or have other effects that are contraindicated in pregnancy. While this list is pretty close to complete, there’s no way I can be sure I got everything down. In any case, when pregnant, it is always good to check with a midwife, herbalist, or aromatherapist before using any particular essential oil. While some oils are not advised during early pregnancy, some may actually be beneficial in the last trimester or during labor.
• Clary sage
*Some sources site rosemary as being contraindicated in pregnancy, while others claim there is no reason it can’t be used. All I can say is to research the herb yourself, talk to some herbalists, and make your own decision.
If allergic to nuts, avoid base oils that contain nuts, such as sweet almond oil, hazelnut oil, and peanut oil. This may seem an obvious thing to do, but there are some people that will assume because the oil is not being ingested, that it is safe. Unless you’ve had an anaphylactic reaction to nuts, you couldn’t possible understand the need to be extremely careful with these oils.
If you suffer from high blood pressure, avoid hyssop, rosemary, sage, and thyme. Licorice is also known to elevate the blood pressure, but it’s not often used as a massage oil!
Diabetics should avoid angelica.
For those of you who enjoy tanning beds or outdoor tanning, you should avoid bergamot, lemon, grapefruit, ginger, lime, orange, and the other citruses. These can make you hypersensitive to ultraviolet waves.
Oils to be avoided in general are:
• Bitter almond
• Boldo leaf
• Deadly nightshade
• Jaborandi leaf
• Southern wood
• Stinging nettle
• Yellow camphor
In closing, I want to encourage you all to experiment with essential oils and erotic massage. The skin is the largest human organ; take full advantage of it!
As you experiment with more and more combinations, finding the ones that are right for you in each particular circumstance, you will not only find that you are pleasing you partner in much deeper ways, but you are also learning something about yourself. To honestly enjoying giving pleasure to your partner is what will make you a good lover, and a memorable one. When I think about my lover, it’s his hands that come to mind before anything else. Even as I type I can feel his hands on my neck, massaging the stress of computer work away!
Slow down, enjoy your senses, and enjoy each other.
“And in the end, the love you make is equal to the love you take.”